Growing up in a deeply patriarchal society does something to you. You come to expect violence, either the explicit physical kind that leaves women dead, or the more subtle emotional and psychological kind that takes a lifetime to undo.
Life these days seems to run on relentless pressure for self-improvement. The general message is that we need to do more. This is how you can be more productive at work. Here are some tips to get the most out of your work out. Are you sure that your self-care is working? Optimise your meals. Optimise your sleep. Optimise your friendships. Buy the latest eye cream, but only if you will also buy this serum because one doesn’t work without the other. Invest your money, but no, not like that. This fund is better, those people are cons. Pop multivitamins now that you’re 30, or your body and brain will turn into mush as you watch …
I don’t have children but I spend a lot of time around them because most of my friends are parents. I find that if you want to continue a friendship with people with children, then you have to learn how to enjoy the company of children because more often than not, children will be the loud, chaotic, messy third wheels to your hangouts. That’s how friendships work. The best ones change and evolve and adapt to circumstances. They demand generosity and grace, which they give back in equal measure. And they allow you to experience things that you would never otherwise experience, like being tasked with entertaining two little girls on a Saturday morning.
I was only two days in, too early in the game for me to land a jab with any precision, let alone successfully block any attacks. Giving up this early would mean I didn’t really have to suffer the indignity of failure because I wouldn’t have given boxing any real chance. I could then tick it off my list as one more thing that’s “just not for me”. Like swimming. Or learning French. Or what sometimes I want to do with writing.
There’s this expectation placed upon women that if they don’t want to be labelled a gold digger (assuming that there is gold to dig in the first place), if they want to be respected as equal partners, then one of the things they should do is take on half of the financial responsibility in a relationship. If they’re dating, this means going Dutch on dates and splitting vacation expenses halfway. If they are married/cohabiting, then this would be going half on rent and utilities and groceries and all other things that are necessary to build a functional life.
Perhaps that is why we cat lovers fall over ourselves to please them, because we are so enchanted by these self-assured creatures that are so unlike us. They have none of our insecurities or uncertainties, they know they can never fail. Imagine moving through the world with the knowledge that you could never fail. Imagine the things you could do, the life you could live, the magic you could create.
Last week I had breakfast with a colleague. As we exchanged pleasantries waiting for our meal, she mentioned in passing that she’d be attending a public participation meeting that could clash with our next planned meeting. It turns out that she is an active participant in her neighbourhood’s local resident association, and she has been joining forces with others to oppose the runaway illegal construction projects mushrooming in the area.
One must-do if you ever travel to Japan is signing up for a Japanese tea ceremony in Osaka. You will end up in a ragtag
I’m writing to you from a chilly Japan today. I seem to have mistimed my first international vacation in four years, and now I’m stuck
I wasn’t always good at it, but now I’m good at being single. I know how to self-soothe (don’t read too much into that 😅
